"When I get older, I will be stronger."

"They'll call me freedom, just like a waving flag."

If you could know your own future, till the time that you die, would you want to know? Right now, for me the answer is yes. At least on the surface. I think deep down inside, I know that the answer is no. Well, really, deeper down inside I know that my future is not written, and therefore the ending changes all the time. For instance, two years ago my ending involved me being an engineer and making lots of money and all that. And 20 years ago, I'm sure my parents had some kind of plan for me. I hope I've lived up to their expectations so far. What a confusing age to be at, at least for me. I'm sure lots of my friends are confused too, and that we're not the first ones to get confused about this whole life business. Sometimes when I'm by myself in this big ol' church I have to much time to think and worry too much. I know that I need to keep on truckin' and that I will (hopefully) end up where I'm supposed to be.

Free will has been on my mind a lot lately, and I'm not sure what got me started on it. I hear phrases all the time like "God has a plan," and "It was meant to be," but was it? I'm sure God does have a "best case scenario" book written, which explains how things should be and what He really means. But if you think about it, if we are living word for word what God has planned out, then do we really have free will? Are we in control? I know for some people would be scared shitless if they found out they were not in control of their life. If you are one of those people and you are reading this now, take heart. For what it's worth, I believe that free will exists and that we can still make up our own minds. I believe that God has put us here with a particular set of skills, and gives up the opportunity to use them every day. We have the choice to use them or be unhappy most of the time.

Another point to bring up is that if we believe God has some kind of plan that He is executing, then He's kind of a jerk for making all this bad stuff. And if you follow any kind of religion, then you do not believe that God is in any way shape or form evil, nor is He responsible for evil.

I'd love to have a long conversation with a few people about this subject. Until then...

"I heard them say, love is the way, Love is the answer, that's what they say, But look how they treat us, Make us believers."