If I die now before I'm old, my story will be less than told.

There's so much more to suffer through before I meet again with you.

Man, what a not fun weekend. I had worse some ways, but it's been a while since I've had something weighing heavy on my heart. I guess the best way to describe what I've felt is to say tell you that my heart is beeping. Innocence was taken from the world too soon. Taken from our country. Taken from that city. Taken from that school. From our hearts. Someone crossed a line we are not comfortable crossing - killing defenseless children. Honestly, someone crossed a line when they killed someone, but they were totally out of bounds by killing children. I hope those children are playing and screaming and shouting and eating as much sugar as they possibly can, and just having a grand old time. I hope those teachers are basking in whatever kind of glory and sunshine they want and deserve. I hope that shooter has some kind of peace of mind, wherever he is. If there is a hell, I would assume he's there. If I'm honest, I don't know that I want him to go to heaven right now. I want to want him to be with God in paradise. Maybe that counts for something. My heart is beeping.

And now the arguments start. Some will argue out grief, others to try and actually accomplish something. What should we do about guns? What was wrong with the guy who did this? Why? What if's and What about's? For me, I'll leave the experts to figure out what's best, the smart and sensible ones to discuss and suggest ideas, and the lesser minded (having nothing to with IQ) to argue about it. Prayers should be involved too.

To save me from rambling, feel free to contact me about issues regarding recent events, or just in general, you would like my opinion. As a heads up, I consider myself an issues person who leans more-so to the left. And, again, if I'm honest with you and myself, I haven't figured out how exactly I feel about everything. But feel free to share your thought with me anyways.

Advent is in full swing. And I love it.

I've tried so hard and I've been so blind. I thought we could all grieve one at a time.

"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep,..."

"...and miles to go before I sleep,..."

I am back after a long hiatus. Maybe it was needed. Maybe not. I've done a lot of wondering since I last share my thoughts. Sometimes I was lost, others not. But I am back here and feel comfortable sharing thoughts with you and the rest of the world. Well, although it is available to the rest of the world, I'm sure very few people will actually read the thoughts that I am sending out. I guess I consider this my message in a bottle, thrown out to the sea in hopes that many may read and share, but knowing that the odds of that happening are slim. But I digress...

This past weekend was one to remember. I had the chance to spend it with people I love. I got to make a bad decision while surrounded by people who wouldn't let me do anything I would regret. A good friend was ordained a priest in the Episcopal Church. And it was good.

I have now been to all three ordination services in the Episcopal church: a deacon, priest, and bishop. What I notice about all three is how much of a celebration each is by the people of the church. It is seen as a major life accomplishment to be honored with an ordination. And rightfully so, I believe. It is a big accomplishment. And I am glad for my friend Brandt, who is just beginning his ministries in the church.

My call is still taking shape, and ordination is still a possibility. I will trust in God and the people around me, as well as in myself, to get me where I can use my gifts to best suit those around me.

"...and miles to go before I sleep."